John Walker


246 games reviewed
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Unscored - Victor Vran
Jul 29, 2015

It certainly doesn't get to join the elite group, but if you're after some ARPG entertainment, it more than fits the role. I'm far from finished, after spending a hefty amount of time with it, so there's a lot on offer here, not least with the incentive to replay older sections to perfection. Turn the voices down, put a podcast on, and sink in.

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Good performances, some very nice animation (albeit embarrassingly similar to Telltale's look), and a couple of passable puzzles, just aren't enough to compete with some astonishingly dreadful design decisions, the monstrously slow pace, agonising traipsing, unskippable repeated dialogue and laborious cutscenes, violently pisspoor platforming and action sequences, complete lack of introduction or explanation of who anyone is for people new to the long-dead series, ghastly controls, cheap and tacky on-screen prompts, obviously designed for tablet interaction, and god-awful instant deaths.

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Unscored - Submerged
Aug 5, 2015

It's a reasonably short game for £14 – perhaps an afternoon's stuff to do first time through. But it's so unrelentingly lovely, and such a rare pleasure to be experienced without constant worry about being shot in the back of the head, or eaten by a wolf, or running out of time, or any of the other ways games so desperately want to concern us.

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There's a good couple of days' play here, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with any of it. Those fearing it would just stop unfinished need not worry, as while it teases more to come, the story is self-contained. The issue is, it's just so unremarkable.

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Unscored - Mad Max
Sep 10, 2015

What you have here is a decent, if flawed game. And it's been released into a market with some really stunning games in the same genre. If you've bought it, and are playing it, the chances are you're having fun and not regretting the purchase. You would, of course, tick Yes when asked if you like it. So would I.

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Oct 1, 2015

So did I enjoy it? Kind of. I think I appreciated it more than I enjoyed it, and then that appreciation was tinged with a wish that it could have been more. More clever, more surprising, more deep. But more importantly, it made me think, made me worry about people I care about, made me uncomfortable. And for that, I think, it deserves praise.

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Unscored - Armikrog
Oct 1, 2015

There's a chance the bugs could be patched out, although this really is in a sort of Arkham Knight place where pulling it and finishing it is the better option. But even if it ran without constantly breaking, it would still be a really dreadful adventure game. A gorgeous one – some of the most lovely animation I've ever seen in a game – but just so poor.

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Unscored - Sublevel Zero
Oct 7, 2015

So there Sublevel Zero lies, this peculiar mix of instantly entertaining and disappointingly hollow. Tidying up the crafting, and making it meaningful, would add a lot. And gosh, it desperately needs a rethink about those unexplained, unpredictable dead-ends. But heck, I want to keep on playing anyway. I feel like so much more could be added to it, and I rather hope to see that happen. As it is, I'm suspicious it won't hold people's attention long enough for the £11 entry fee.

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The whole thing can be polished off in a long day (that's what I did), and in certain sections I was enjoying the old-school run-n-gunning. But just as often I was being frustrated by glitches, poor enemy AI (which is pretty unforgiveable after they mock it for being such in the early levels, and then never improves), or aching repetition.

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Unscored - Mushroom 11
Oct 15, 2015

It's rare for a puzzle game to be truly original, but Mushroom 11 can claim that accolade. It applies its originality in smartly traditional ways, employing 2D physics puzzles in a new style. It's glitchless, which is a rare treat, especially for a game that lets you break your blob into many parts and jam them in between rotating cogs and swinging platforms. It's one of the best puzzle games in a very long time.

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Unscored - Dragon Fin Soup
Nov 5, 2015

Randomly generating your locations for missions is a good idea in many games, but it carries the huge risk of creating dull spaces. In Dragon Fin Soup they're almost uniquely so, with laborious chopping of foliage leading to dead end after dead end, rather then hidden treasure or bonus finds. It's just not the sort of game that lends itself to the notion, and the result kills off just about any desire to continue playing I was left with.

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Unscored - Skyhill
Nov 9, 2015

[I]t's undeniably repetitive. I like the game a lot, and in a large part because of its simplicity. But it's certainly walking a fine line, possibly limiting how many times someone might want to take another trip down its randomly generated tower knowing they've encountered many of its surprises. Still, that doesn't seem to stop me from wanting one more go. Which is probably the most important thing.

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Unscored - Just Cause 3
Dec 1, 2015

It's a triumph of a game despite some flaws, and certainly one of my peak gaming moments of 2015. Bright, cheerful, ridiculous, and most of all, absolutely determined to ensure you have fun.

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Unscored - Nuclear Throne
Dec 8, 2015

If you're the sort who shies away from bullet hell twin-stick shooters, or finds the permadeath of roguelikes to be too punishing, I think Nuclear Throne might be the game to try. It might well ease you into those troubling waters. I tend toward those instincts too, but this is so immediately accessible, so ridiculously replayable, and so satisfying to get better at, that it transcends. And if those sorts of games are your thing and you've not already delved in during development, then flipping crikey, get this immediately. And blimey, I'm tired.

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Unscored - PERFECT ANGLE
Dec 23, 2015

What's such a shame about the puzzles, beyond those which are simply bad (not very many, but gosh, they're bad), is that what it doesn't do is let you move around the world. And that's even more strange when the transitions between puzzles are the camera swooping down streets and through doors between one and the next, so there was definitely a world built in which one could have moved about.

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Unscored - Pony Island
Jan 5, 2016

[T]rust me, pick this one up.

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Jan 20, 2016

There are so many smart ideas in here, and the concept is neat, even if obviously derivative. But the execution doesn't hold it together, with disappointing responses to extremes, and a strangely anticlimactic progression. I feel like if this were given another six months, the game could be as interesting to play as it is in ambition. But as it is, it's not there.

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Jan 21, 2016

Were it built with more skill, with a greater flow of movement and one hell of a graphical upgrade, and then given a dose of writing that wasn't horribly reminiscent of its sister show, this could have been quite the thing. And yet, I enjoyed myself at moments, before wearying of its weaknesses toward the end. Fascinating that it came this close.

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Unscored - Pythagoria
Jan 25, 2016

In fact, if you've looked at the screenshots, read this, and thought, "Goodness me, John's an idiot," then this is the game for you! I can't tell you where it goes in the later puzzles (there are 60 in total), as they unlock one at a time.

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Feb 1, 2016

There's loads to do in Lego Marvel Avengers, but only when you've found it. And of course the animation is well done, the ridiculous amount to collect relatively compelling, and if your kid 100%ed Marvel Super Heroes, then this will likely give them a new fix. But it's a despondent entry in a series that perhaps TT are finally beginning to grow tired of making.

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